What happens in my mind - stays in my mind!

How do I fight sin? What if we change the question around - how do I love God more? Which question shall I tackle first? If Christ on the cross is the definitive answer to the question, how do I integrate that concept to the core of my believe system and against a world that cries "foolishness!"?

1 John 7 -9: "But if we walk in the light, as he is the light,we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. ..If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

Lets put the sins on the table. Lets be transparent! Whoa! As Christian leaders restored to God and filled with grace, can we not be "open"? As a community we are suppose to support each other, help the one that moves off the truth by half a degree. Easily said but - why is this not happening?

Sin cuts close to the heart, its shame manifests in a 1000 heresies circulating in our minds. Its like trying to clean a stain from a white shirt. The more I try, the dirtier it gets. This is my natural tendency, my default position and it constitutes the battleground in the war on accepting full grace from God. Rescuing myself (or trying to), hiding, posing, taking the responsibility back on my own shoulders to make things right between God and me, culminates into the ultimate manifestation of my self-centred focus.

Perhaps it is time to re-group, re-consider. Our plans did not work. We were told, taught and educated in the fact that our plans are flawed, nevertheless, we keep trying to fix things ourselves. It is time to re-centre ourselves around the free grace from Jesus. Super spirituality is not required, only the simplicity of three words: "Jesus loves me".

Its not working

The group reflected on the question: What is not working in your world today?

We talked about pride - a struggle to accept in my inner being that yes - I AM going to heaven, Jesus loves me. (This is a little different from the fact that we can readily verbalise this as if it was an internal belief). The concept of salvation is so easy to understand, perhaps too easy. We keep on colouring it in and making it more complex than it is. We add a whole bunch of conditions, even obstacles for ourselves to overcome in order to enter heaven. The pride part is found in the place where I have to accept that nothing of my distinct and wonderful giftings and knowledge that makes me such a special individual, bring me any closer to heaven. I have to accept that I am accepted even though I am unacceptable.

We reflected on the apparent close link between sexuality and spirituality and many other aspects of life that are not working for us. An idea start to surface - repentance. Where is this going? How will it look like? All revivals started off with repentance. It cannot be forced or planned. Its the Spirit moving. We should consecrate ourselves, because tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among us (Joshua 3:5).

Consecrate - setting myself aside spiritually because my purpose is to glorify God. And what is my ONLY comfort in life (to face the stuff that is not working in my life today)?
That I am not my own,
but belong—
body and soul,
in life and in death-
to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ. (Heidelberg Catechism).

Resume's and business plans

Today's question for the group was: Have you ever been (or are you still) being called by God to step out in faith where the idea was too challenging, too scary or just seemed too bizarre so that you immediately rationalized it away to the bottom drawer (so to speak) - but it seems to come back time and time again?

How many times do we rationalize away our greater calling and miss out on a great adventure that was actually part of God's plan? I recognize this place because I have - perhaps for far too long - been doing exactly that. My reasons for inaction are simple and easy, immediate and effective: Its too scary, its not really Gods voice, its me wanting something special, an escape from my dreary life style, that deep hole that yearns for recognition, if it is God's work, He will find someone else to do it, I need to provide for my family, I don't have the skills and although I know that God wants to use me in my weakness, even that sounds too spiritual for reality, a rationalization in itself. The list goes on and on.

Reflecting on this question,  it seems that God works in community and in themes. When I share my dreams and callings with other christian leaders and friends, its usually the time when connections are made to other ideas, issues and causes others are being pulled towards from within their own walk with God. In this community, some themes sometimes emerge and serve to confirm our thoughts and ideas are in line with the Kingdom work around us. The role of faith and close companionship through prayer with our Lord is obviously crucial. At the end of the day, God is speaking to me personally. Only through my experience that I can trust God, can I in faith move forward to start walking where He calls me to.

Interesting to note - The resumes of this world expects us to sell ourselves, our wonderful skills, great experience, contributions and immaculate character, leadershp skills and don't forget the "teamwork" word. The resume for Gods work looks different: I don't have what it takes Lord, but I trust you will equip me. I don't know what I am getting into and I doubt my abilities - and God says "Great, I can use you".

The business plans we take to the bank and development corporations are documents bulging with confidence. All possible scenarios's are covered, nothing is overlooked. The future carefully anticipated and calculated. The business plan for God's work is different again: It does cover due dilligence but it declares that we can only see the next step and there is a huge blank page titled: FAITH.

Lectio Divina

Lectio Divina is the Latin word for "Divine Reading". Its an approach to read a passage in the Bible by doing lectio (reading slowly and attentively), meditatio (reflecting on something that catches my attention and relates to my life), oratio (responding to God by opening my heart to this issue) and contemplatio (become still before God and listen to hear God talk to me).

We did Psalm 23 this morning. "I will let you lie down in green pastures" (picturing myself on my back on a very green pastures, quietness, clean air, blue sky), "I will guide you past quiet waters" (seeing Jesus a few steps ahead of me, beckoning me to follow and pointing to the calmness of the water next to me, gentle rush of water, a sense of peace), "He restores my soul" (wow! restoration by God is perfect, peace again). I am struck by the general trend of the whole psalm - its a scene of adversity: enemies and valley of death, trouble. I respond by recognizing that this is a love letter from God. In the midst of our most horrible circumstances, He brings peace and comfort. Thank you Jesus for your love.

God answers me: "Yes I love you. But since you are not hearing me clearly through all the clouds of doubt and blurriness of your heart, here is your message". And then I see a window pane. Its fogged up from cold and rain and I can barely see through it. God writes in it "I love you" - pause, then continues writing - "<my name>".

Ten shekels and a shirt

Humanistic christianity uses Jesus as a means to reach happiness and a spot in heaven. But Jesus is no means, He is the END. Everything in my life should be focussed to bring glory to His name. Period. This is a drastically different approach to my spiritual journey. An undeserving heart serving God because it is the highest honour in the universe to do so.

Paris Reidhead's sermon "Ten shekels and a shirt" is arguebly one of the best sermons on this topic of all time on record. No summary does justice to it. Here is the link

http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?SID=10180222445

A new focus point

It is so much better to focus on the life with Christ and walk in His grace than to look at the long list of things that I did wrong or sinned and feel guilty about. God loves me anyways and always. These concepts are so easy to say and declare, but by taking them apart bit-by-bit, digging into the fulness of their meaning, I might discover a different reality. [What would be your next sentence here?]

Measuring up

Question of the day: What do you feel or think when you see someone giving their life to Christ?

Interesting question once I start thinking about it. It comes back to faith and how I define faith (that for later).
For most part I am a sceptic...sadly to say. I want to see the "fruit". How long is it going to last? Is it real?

Behind my questioning lies an unredeemed world view:

• I want to see the fruit - meaning that something needs to be delivered, done, performed, measured up.
• This is again the DO thing instead of the BE thing. (Abide in Christ rather than trying to clean myself up)
• Always measuring myself with others, others with myself. A judge by nature.
• I feel threatened. Why? Do I even now? Do I want to know?

I will walk in the grace of God.